despite all of the stupid songs that i have written recently, i am still kind of a retarded hopeless romantic. i still want all of those lying around and kissing and sighing things. i don't want to break anyone's heart and i don't hate anyone's eyes and i'm not really mean. i am, maybe, okay, a little cynical. but i don't like it and don't want to be.

i have only seen tiny specks of the cheesy romantic jacob in the past few years. and when it comes out totally it is almost over the top but at least tasteful, i think. maybe. i totally want back all that stuff and i want my songs to have an excuse to be cheesy and romantic again. but i don't even know where to start... i don't even know where to start!!!

i've said and done some stupid things to people, i guess. i've made people cry. i feel pretty horrible about that?? it's not like it was on purpose, but i hate making people cry!

i guess if you've ever really seen that hopeless romantic jacob, you would probably know that these songs are just dumb jokes and they are very cryptic and if you knew the actual context that probably only exists in my head, you might find them terribly romantic and not sad or mean at all. but, i don't know. i don't know!!

music:
- i went to see rilo kiley on saturday and that was good. like, every band that played was pretty good. now it's overhead was good. a band called tilly and the wall played, but i got there too late for that part. apparently they are band whose percussion section is made up of tap dancers??? also, rilo kiley had like 3 guitarists and i'm pretty sure orinda from azure ray played trumpet for them and bass for now it's overhead and it was SO INTENSE!!!
- the libertines are okay, i guess.
- the good life and neva dinova played here on friday and i am so totally dumb that i missed it.

video games:
- i became obsessed with mario golf for 3 days and now i'm not. but maybe i will be again, somehow.
- corey found tetris attack for gameboy on the ground somewhere!?!!? and i totally took it from him and i play it on the bus on the way to work.
- i started playing the new call of duty: united offensive thing and wasn't that into it until the british part. british people are just way more interesting.

movies:
- corey and i sort of went BEZERK last week and rented like 800 movies at once.
- mr. show season 4 was, like, funny?
- coffee and cigarettes seemed okay. though, i only saw half of it before we decided to go out to ihop and have coffee and cigarettes. it did a good job of making you want to sit around and have kind of awkward conversations while smoking and drinking coffee. i guess. or whatever.
- i rented this kind of dumb korean movie based on the fact that it had four cute girls on the cover. it was about some girls who found some handguns and were magically transformed into famous criminals. what is up with asians and internet fan clubs for stupid fucked up shit!?!?!?
- COMMANDO. video store jane said she loved it and i guess it's pretty stupid but in a good way!!
- i can't even remember what the fuck else we rented right now.
- i saw garden state yesterday and i guess i liked it and i guess it made me all hopelessly romantic but i guess i was also a little bothered by some of the typically cliche romance movie parts or whatever. but natalie portman is so adorable!!!!!!

i think i want a girlfriend!!!

i am drinking czechvar, a premium czech lager. look at me, i am so cultured!?

also, my back has been hurting really badly since the day i turned 25. my body is like, "who do you think you are, old guy??" and i'm sorry, okay! i'm sorry that me and age just aren't getting along!!

twenty-five is so old and painful!

OMG. look, work isn't so bad, but getting home at 11 is totally bad?!?!!? i totally miss mal or something!!! i have no idea what's happening with awkward songz because i'm too busy or something!!! and i totally need to finish hope's website or something!! i'm sorry!! ahhhhhh!!!

also, i think i'm in some sort of silly love!!! not really in real intense love but something that is kind of secret and personally romantic! and i think i might be found out but i am not sure at all!! but i have a sneaking suspicion that all parties involved are totally just passive agressive and i guess it's kind of cute... in my little fictional world!! i guess. I AM SERIOUSLY DELIRIOUS.

i also kind of forgot how to write real love songs.

IT IS 9 PM AND I'M STILL AT WORK. THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT IS 8 PM AND I'M STILL AT WORK. THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!!