i do not have an actual remote for my television, so i can't lower the volume. getting up is obviously out of the question. i do, however, have a VCR remote. so, i turned the channel to 125 and, luckily, the screen just went blue and the sound was automatically muted so i could listen to music. but, my VCR keeps shutting off and up pops a green plateau with birds and piano ballads, probably taking the place of an annoying colorbar tone. so i turn the VCR power back on.

this is my night and i'm very excited by it.