i wish i were indifferent as it seemed like i was.

also, i wish there were things i could say to make everything fall into place. create that satisfying click that comes with the effort of pushing a tiny part into a tiny slot. alleviate strained hearts and broken correspondents. i think i am genuinely sorry and embarassed for all the mistakes i've made. i can't believe all the chances i've been given. i miss the inherent trust and reliance.