i figured out what i have to do to be popular! i just have to be pretty! i finally figured out the secret!

it's so early. i just stood up and hit my head against the mysterious beam that was placed, inexplicably, in the middle of the room. i hit it very hard. i must have a concussion by now. i've been waiting forever for a moment like this. all these months of hitting my head and no concussion. but now i have a huge bump on the top of my head and it hurts... a lot. you see, i can't even come up with a good word for excruciating pain. it must be a concussion. i am concussed.

p.s. i wish i actually had real revelations when i hit my head, like in the movies.