i'm drinking a red bull. i was gonna make some lame joke about how it doesn't give me wings, but i opted out of being a retard.

i finished parasite eve the other day. i think i've had the game for like 2 years. whoever said square doesn't make bad games must not have played all the way through parasite eve. i realize they just adapted the story from a book... but if the book was that bad, why did they choose it?

the dialogue was terrible. i think they tried thier hardest to sound like they knew what the were talking about by not actually saying anything at all. this was extremely common:

"you mean i..."

"yes, you are."

"then, that means..."

"you're catching on, my dear."

"NOOOOOO!"

noooooo what?!? christ. what the fuck were they talking about? i never knew what was going on until the very end. it seemed like they pointed to random words in a medical dictionary to come up with the final explanation, though.

"let's see. close eyes. point.............. cornea. okay. aya got maya's cornea implanted into her eye. that sounds reasonable. right? no? well, i don't pay you to think, so go away. why do i even ASK the janitors for advice?"

oh yea. guess what. there were about 5 last bosses. i bet you didn't expect THAT from a square game. one of the last bosses was a little baby. i had to shoot at a little baby with a machine gun. i have morals (seriously). shooting at babies is not my idea of a good time. granted, it was an evil mitochondria baby, but it was still a BABY. old people are a different story completely. but babies? no.

anyway, i better stop giving parasite eve a bad review. i can feel my mitochondria rebelling. I'M GETTING HOT! NOOOOO!