my mom sent me this binder full of old pictures of me recently. a few things i noticed as i looked through it:

- my uncles seemed puzzled by my tiny 2 day old body.
- i had big ears as a child.
- did they keep me permanently stoned as a baby, or is it normal to look like that ALL the time?
- me and fake santa clause DID NOT get along.
- i'd like to think that's my package, but i know it's just my diapers under those trousers.
- i really liked raisins (?).
- i slept beautifully.
- innertubes were a big part of my childhood.
- what compelled me to wear a red bandana around my neck?!? and a tight knit white wool sweater? it's a good thing mom never drove me through compton, cuz i'd get CAPPED, yo.
- fake mickey mouse birthday cakes = C+ for effort.
- i looked coolest in my 4th grade school photo. i was so shaggy indie.
- after 4th grade it all went downhill.
- by the looks on my cat's faces, you'd think they didn't like me...
- my mom called my cousins pink care bear "tender heart." i don't remember exactly what my cousins care bear WAS called, but tender heart was fucking BROWN. not PINK. *ahem*
- my diamond back bike kicked ass. kicked MY ass. i have the scars to prove it.
- my dukes of hazard birthday cake was the best thing i've ever gotten.
- we had a pool.
- i wore a shirt that was blue and neon pink/green. it said "V-BALL" on it. what?!?
- i've dressed up as a woman for halloween far too many times...
- i made this shirt for halloween. it had bats on it. it sucked.
- i danced with this parade chick at disneyland when i was 12. by the look on my face, it seems that this "girl" creature was amazing to me. THUS BEGAN PUBERTY!
- i've never BEEN to nazereth, but i've dressed the part.
- i actually DID play sports. A LOT. oh my god.
- i don't know how i survived all those sports, because when i look at myself, the term "frail wussy boy" comes to mind.
- during high school, i thought i was cool. let's pretend i was for the sake of my ego.
- after the age of 16, it seemed impossible for me to take a picture without blinking, sneezing or falling.
- i don't know why, but there's a really cute picture of me when i was about 6 (and blonde for a short time) mixed in with my high school pictures. what could my mother be trying to tell me?
- my mom is a nerd.
- but i'm a bigger nerd.

there seems to be a brief period in all this where i was a bit awkward. my roommate would probably tell you that 21 years wouldn't be considered brief, but she isn't writing this, now is she?