i don't want to think about comics. i don't want to have conversations about comics. i don't want to worry about comics or the comics industry or what anyone else is doing. i want to just draw my comics, maybe go to a convention or two each year to meet the kids, and that's it, that's all i want. the rest of my time, i want it to be about something else. i want it to be about you. i wanted a teammate. a partner. whatever. because i don't care about comics. seriously. i just care about life and love or the lack thereof and the comics are just one convenient way of expressing that. and the dream was that we would have so many other things to talk about and do and see and think of that comics could just be the one thing and not the whole thing. because seriously fuck you. comics drive me insane. i don't want them. get them away from me. I WANT SOMETHING ELSE TO GET ME THROUGH THIS SEMI-CHARMED KIND OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and shit. there is a song i wrote like a year ago that goes "i just want something to believe in, some fresh air that i could breathe in, i just want you," and it was about you, but whatever. it is still true. and i would take someone other than you, if there was anyone other than you. if life presented me some new choices i would definitely consider them. until then i will sit here and hear about comics and think about comics and talk about comics and hate comics and hate myself and slowly atrophy. because really, i just want something to believe in, and you were something to believe in, for christ's sake, and now there's nothing. i try to believe in my shit, my art, whatever, i try and i try and i try and for now that has to be enough but really it's not enough at all. so hey life, help me out here, throw me a motherfucking bone. okay? thanks. love, mal.