i seem to know a lot more about the fashion industry than i let on... i mean, i go and buy fashion magazines when i have money... and i've noticed that i used to be sort of nervous doing it because of the looks i might get, but now i realize that people don't seem to care at all. i mean, the occasional overly-masculine payless cashier might give me a quick awkward look, but at this point i guess i don't really care.

it has always bothered me when i would see people looking at fashion magazines and telling me of how they hated so-and-so model because they were so tall and skinny. i mean, obviously i hate it; i'm tall and skinny. ashwini was telling me that i was lanky the other day and that seemed sort of weird because i've never thought of myself as lanky. it's like... when i think of lanky, i think of olive oyle... or.. some... shit. do i look like olive oyle??

anyway, the thing is, i can find anyone attractive. i mean, i hate to sound really cheesy, but there are beautiful things about everyone. being physically attracted to someone always seems to be the easy part with me. of course there are the occasional people i see on the street who are striking, but most often thier personalities can make them instantly unattractive. i don't think most people realize that it's more difficult to find someone who you can relate to and be comfortable around than it is to find someone physically attractive. i think this is why i'm so picky... because i hardly relate to anyone (or anyone can hardly relate to me). there are just certain things that make it easy and that i know about... and after those things have been met, everything about the person becomes beautiful to me... and i guess they're things that can't be described or anything... and they aren't anything physical at all really... but all the supposed "flaws" actually become something that i love and wouldn't change about them ever. physical attraction is subjective... for me anyway. i can't speak for anyone else.

but fashion can seem really cold... and i also relate this to graphic design because, essentially, they are the same thing. graphic design is a very cold and calculated thing and can't even evoke an emotion unless the veiwer already has that emotional cognition... or whatever. i mean... maybe i'll get into this some other time. for now i'll go eat paste and check my .nu email to see how many people haven't ordered my cd.