my birthday was typically mundane. my mother woke me up and told me to go sleep in the garage at about 7 am. i slept there until 1. when i woke up and came back inside, the house was empty. my mother came back later and had gotten me a black box (for... putting things in... i guess?) for my birthday. she then asked me to go with her to pier one for whatever reason. while we were there, she told me to look around and seemed kind of upset when she saw that i had found a small chair in a corner to sit in. what was i supposed to be looking around at? i don't have the home or room that would be neccesary for holding anything bought from pier one.

the rest of the day was spent doing nothing, as usual.

oh yeah, mal drew a picture for me. thank you mal. <3

mally called and we had a seemingly strained conversation. i can only guess that i was the one causing the strain as i don't even know how to speak to anyone on the phone anymore - i sat and tried to make jokes that made no sense or couldn't speak above a whisper. i keep trying my hardest to be happy when i talk to people, but i just end up sounding like an idiot because i can't even fathom what being happy would sound like at all. i'm not charming or funny or anything anymore. i'm just a dull sad boy and i think it's starting to annoy everyone.

but anyway, i'm glad she called. i appreciate it. <3

also, i at least saw something exciting today, even if it was something i made up entirely in my head, but: i drove past this pet shop on mooney and there was a giant sign that said "CHIHUAHUAS HERE NOW" and i seriously wanted to head up to san francisco, take a seat next to all the market street preachers and make a sign that said, "MAKE YOUR PEACE! REPENT! CHIHUAHUAS HERE NOW!"