i saw my first girlfriend again today. she's working at kinkos - the same place she was working exactly a year ago. she didn't see me this time. last year, when we had the prerequisite "what are you doing?" exchange, she told me that she was getting married or had already been married; i forget which. i said, "oh..." with the inflection between the 'o' and the 'h' and trailing off appropriately on the elipse so as to make my feelings toward it very ambiguous... because they were. i mean, who am i to say that her getting married at 19 was weird and a bit frightening? who am i at all?

anyway, i'm starting to like the hustle and bustle of kinkos. i mean, i would were it not for the money that must be spent to do the things i've been doing. it's ridiculous, really. i should pull up my trousers, wipe my nose and just stiff those kinkos bastards. i want free copies, goddamnit.

(my mother just popped her head through her bedroom door, scolding me for being awake. it seems as though my being awake keeps her awake. it's distressing, really, because she gets very angry about it all and i feel pressured to go to sleep - which, of course, means that i can't sleep at all.)

anyway, back to the goddamn free copies. i don't mean to toot my own metaphorical horn (wow, it would be great if i had a little horn - a bugle would be swell) but the things i've made on my project ventures at kinkos have been pretty damn great. i'm so completely satisfied with them. i want to make more, but it involves color copies ($1.29 ea.) and i just don't have that kind of money. so, i really need to learn some guerilla punk rock tactics to accomplish these things.

projects are exciting, yes they are. if you people send me an accumulative total of about $500 a month and teach me the necessary criminal copying skills, i can make great pretty beautiful books and music and things every month and send them to you all. idealism go.