jesus. honestly, everywhere i turn, there are signs that keep flying in my face to let me know that i must be old. i'm watching closed captioned television, my body is constantly tense and sore, and i've noticed that my vision is starting to get worse.

actually, i don't really mind that my vision is getting worse; i think it would be great to have glasses. i'm certainly shy and quiet enough - maybe getting glasses would somehow justify all of that and give me that "guy with glasses" edge. i mean, obviously i can understand the drawbacks of it all - dependent on an inanimate object, inability to become too active with them on, the ridiculous cost - but, i have to make the bright side of these things bigger and easier to swallow so i don't go insane.

but, then again, i have no money... so, i don't even know.

but, the whole thing with the tense body could easily be solved by a massage... by anyone, really. i actually enjoy giving massages. it's very likely that it has something to do with wanting to be liked and doing something to make that possible... but i mean, hey, everyone wins in that situation, right?

or whatever... but wait, i really would like a massage or some other form of muscle relaxant therapy. my entire body has been tense and stressed and destroyed for a good 4-5 months now. i don't think anyone has even touched me in that long... or... oh yeah, i hugged mal, corey, josh and i don't even know how many other people in san diego. but that was still 2 months ago. this seems strange to me... should it? to not be touched by another human being in that long?

anyway, i'm so old. and i can feel the rain a comin'. i feel it in my bones. mark my words.