my mother watched Breakfast at Tiffanys for the first time today. she said she liked audrey hepburn because she was gorgeous, but she didn't like the movie because she was flaky and she stole things.

somehow, i can imagine my mother being really old, forgetting how to speak english and only knowing swear words in italian. and i'll somehow develop a brooklyn accent and have to take care of her. she'll hit people over the head with her cane in grocery stores and i'll have to say, "ma... ma! ma, stop it! c'mon ma, fo'get about it ma! c'mon ma, lets go home. c'mon ma."

i know it seems ridiculous (no part of our family is italian), but by my calculations, there is a 90% chance of this happening.