no but seriously. or whatever.

i guess i'm not really dead? i fixed my guitar all by myself with a lot of filing and glue. my big nice pretty monitor made a lot of popping noises and smelled like burning and wouldn't, like, do stuff anymore. so now i use a shitty samsung. i'm reading slaughterhouse-five even though there are still three other books i haven't finished yet. i went to a party last night with all these people. i mean, really, i guess people usually go to parties. it's like a... thing... that they do. or whatever. cameron said that i was "making game" or "playing game" at one point in the night, but i seriously don't understand such things and would have no clue if i were or not. i suppose the only games i care about at this point are nintendo games. HAHAHAHAHA. but anyway, i am terrified of such things.

i suppose i'm not really good at being some kind of normal functioning human being. i mean, with how my brain works. i get the feeling that most people think i'm bullshit most of the time. maybe i am. i don't know how to work myself. my instructions are in japanese!

i am a sentimental boy. sentimentality + anxiety + longing will probably kill me, eventually. i mean, something has to. fuck this living forever bullshit. fuck it all to heck.