I was looking through a bunch of old e-mails tonight... and I realized... I don't keep in touch with people well. It's not that I don't think about these people... it's just that... sometimes I don't even realize how much shit I have going on for myself. I have a job 8 hours a day. I get home from that and I sit down and do one of like a hundred things. Draw, design, write, photograph, write music... and like, if I find something that interests me during the day, I'll usually look for something about it, figure out how to do it and then do it. I made this promise to myself a long time ago... It was right about the time my grandmother died... No, it was before that really... but it became more prominent when she died. I want to do everything.

The general opinion of the human population is that you can't do something unless you have the talent to do so... I've always thought that was bullshit. I've worked hard to do what I do. I've studied, I've learned and I've fucked up enough to know what not to do. I've been told I have a talent for certain things (as most everyone is told). But I find that it's not so much about talent, but more about the drive to want to do something. I've heard, "I just don't have the talent to do so-and-so" so many fucking times it makes me sick. If you want to do it, DO IT! In the end people respond more to the emotion and energy that is put into something than the work itself.

I'm not a good artist. I'm not a good designer. I'm not a good writer. I'm not a good musician. But I don't give a fuck. I create what looks and sounds good to me. I'm never satisfied. It always has to be better. I'm a stubborn prick. When I throw something out to you guys, I'm putting myself on the line here. If it's half assed, I'm the only person that will be ashamed. I'm human. I can help it, but sometimes I just don't have the energy...

It's late. I'm tired and rambling now...

What was I talking about? Oh yea. If I haven't e-mailed you or called you in a long time, I'm sorry. Chances are, I still think about you... I just don't give myself enough time to let you know.